I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Randomize
