Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
