yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
