There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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