haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
BRING THE BAGELS
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
