the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
