one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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