it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
