I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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