Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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