Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
