If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Randomize
