I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
