i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
