me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
