i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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