i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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