Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
