listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
