Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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