let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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