I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
