Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
