It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize
