i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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