What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
