Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
