the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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