I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
