well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
