yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
