So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
