Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
