Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
