Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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