i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize