We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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