I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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