well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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