i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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