I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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