i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
