i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
