my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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