I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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