it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
