It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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