And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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