i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
This is the high leading the old right now
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
