The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
