Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize