It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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