Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
