i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
