i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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