nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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