I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
