She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
