You're my little dorito
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
