so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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