Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Randomize
