let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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