Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
