its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
