I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
