So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
