I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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