You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
