i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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