can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
wow bdsm is so cute
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize